Thursday, December 17, 2009

Classic Kid Questions/Parent Repartees

What’s for dinner?
Whatever I make, that’s what.

Are we there yet?
No. We have ten more hours.

Can I watch tv?
No. It kills your brain cells. Go outside.

What’s for dinner?
Oysters.

Are we there yet?
No. Do you want me to stop the car right now? Stop asking.

Can I watch tv?
Stop asking.

What’s for dinner?
Oysters, like I told you.

Are we there yet?
NO! Stop asking!

Can I watch tv?
What’s wrong with outside? When I was a kid I spent whole days outside walking uphill to school in an avalanche.

What’s for dinner?
I could have been a contender.

Are we there yet?
If I’d chosen to stay single and write that novel.

Can I watch tv?
(silence)

Can I watch tv?
(deafening silence)

Can I watch tv?
(resentful silence, then the sound of ice cubes in a rocks glass)

Can I watch tv?
(slurring) Sure. Whatever. Mommy is resigned to the truth: you darlings are all I have.

2 comments: