Once upon a time, before Mommy was big, like she is now, like a triceratops, Mommy was small, like a baby. Like my baby sister, Bea. And Daddy was always Daddy but in another country like a man. When I grow up I will be a man. In another hour.
It was in Boston. A town that is not our town. Anymore. We had a red house but not anymore. Now we have carpet and we don’t eat on it. Time out. We didn’t go to the zoo there. When we were at the zoo here I didn’t see ducks. We have to go back. When are we going back to see the ducks?
That was like it was. Ducks. Mommy and daddy. Can I have a snack? I want chocolate milk! Not that kind. Not that kind. The 2 per cent kind like at Nannie and Grandad’s. Waaaahhhh! I’m not your friend, Mommy. I’m only Daddy’s friend like this, watch this Mommy, Daaadddyyyy!
(Big pause for naptime.)
Then they met. I like birthday parties. Do you like birthday parties? I do. It was John Michael’s last week and he was four like me. He has another mommy. Mommy is my mommy. We had the cake. At school there was the cake. Like daddy when he saw mommy.
When I was born mommy was fat. I was born in her stomach then I came out and I cried, then I read the book The Stork Does Not Bring You, for Christmas. Let’s read it again. Let’s read the Art Book where everyone is naked. One time I saw Daddy doing art. Or crafts. It was in the bathroom. I’m not allowed to do art in the bathroom, only at the kitchen table, only with Mommy.
I like all things that bite -- like tigers and owls. I don’t like princesses; Daddy is a man. Mommy is a girl. A woman is a woman. Woman can drive planes. And trucks. One time Daddy drove mommy crazy and she got fat again. I have a baby sister, Bea.
When is Halloween going to be here again?
I am hungry for chocolate milk and crackers. I want to play monster. Let’s play monster! Again! More! Why not! I’m not your friend anymore. (Meltdown into the couch.)