The Toddler: ½ cup applesauce ½ cup gin. Serve with a splash of bathwater.
Fill a rocks glass with cream, add a bottle of coconut liquor: that’s La Nina. For an El Nino, garnish with a toy dump truck.
The Recurrent Ear Infection: In a hot water bottle muddle a children’s ibuprofen tablet with Welch’s Concord Grape Juice.
A Mommy’s Time Out is some decent quality peach schnapps in the bathroom.
Laundry Day: mix liquors that are white, such as light rum with liquors that are dark such as whiskey. Fold.
The Monster Under The Bed is Daddy after a snifter full of Frangelico.
To decant Preschooler Artwork: use the best absinthe you can get your hands on in the faculty lounge.
That New Baby Smell: sift Johnson’s Baby Powder over the top of a mug of steamed sweetened milk, add a soft toy in case you want to teethe.
The Go To Bed is a sip of tap water in a tin cup and that’s it, don’t ask for more, do you know how late it is?
Add a thin stream of simple syrup to a vast glass of whatever you have on hand for The Visiting Relative.
Muddle field hockey with the rind of a lime, add bitters and you have yourself a Tween.
Because I Said So: beat St. Germain with an egg white until frothy. If you have the energy, add a pickled onion.