(By this time milk will be spewing from their nose.)
Why did the chicken cross the road?
(They won’t even be able to look at you, they’ll be crying.)
(Have paddles on hand for resuscitation if they just totally die.)
PRETEND TO TRIP OVER SOMETHING INVISIBLE.
(But if they have been simultaneously eating Goldfish and jumping on the couch, watch out for your white carpet.)
Kids who need to go to bed.
Kids who need to go to bed who?
(They’re falling all over themselves, naked, drunk on the humor of you.)