Monday, February 1, 2010

Yoga For Working Moms

Pose Of An Ass: Ask if there is a dedicated nursing room anywhere in your building.

Stand on two feet and raise your open briefcase above your head allowing the week’s budget reports to cascade down around you like a waterfall.

Your heart is at last open like a lotus to the fact that following your bliss means opening up a boutique cupcake place.

Screaming Tiger, Hidden Pacifier: On your hands and knees glide your right hand under your left shoulder, and then under the couch, feeling for the binky that the two-year-old is wailing for.

Before going into Tadasana or Corpse Pose, rearrange everything on your Netflix queue to 19th century costume drama.

Take a few minutes and focus your attention on your breath while you Cut The Kids’ Sandwiches Into Cute Shapes.

Relax your mouth and say Om Shanti. If you are at peace, the book group potluck will go that much more smoothly.

Ouch! What The %$#@! Did I Just Stepped On? can easily be part of your daily sun salutations as you go around the house before the sun rises, blessing the abundance of all that you have, and dusting.

To achieve Domestic Goddess, keep your index fingers as straight as possible and balance as much as you can on top of a box of Kleenex while arranging lotus blossoms in a bowl.

Stand on your tiptoes and stretch stretch stretch imagining your fingers reaching for, but never quite touching, the stars.


  1. oh my, this does make me giggle!!

  2. This is too funny!

    How about a downward facing dog:
    Bend over and sniff the wheels of the stroller to make sure that you just missed that pile of dog *$%(