Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Had St. Francis of Assisi Been A Foodie

Lard, make me a cooking utensil, perhaps a spatula, of your peace
where there is hatred, let me sow langoustines
where there is injury, poi
where there is doubt in the freshness of cheese, faith;
where there is despair, hope
where there is darkness, light golden brown caramel with fleur de sel,
and where there is thin plonk, joy, and a bottle of 1982 Chateau Margaux.

O divine Konditor Meister,
grant that I may not so much seek to be served risotto
as to serve others risotto;
to be understood as having great palate,
as to understand that not everyone does,
to be loved, as to love the maitre d’;
for it is in giving wicker baskets of seasonal organic microgreens
that we receive,
it is in pardoning those who eat protein shakes, we are pardoned,
and it is by "Death by Chocolate" cake
that we are born to the masthead at Saveur.



  1. My God, you make me laugh so hard that coffee comes out of my nose, and I FINISHED MY COFFEE AN HOUR AGO. I want to go down on some sort of roster as BEING YOUR BIGGEST FAN. Really. I feel that claiming this title will somehow rub off on me and make me a better writer...almond

  2. Brilliant. Love St. Francis.

  3. And "almond" back at ya, brilliant one.

  4. Fantastic. I couldn't have done this in a million years