Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Ha Ha

According to various online dictionaries, a haha (n.) approximates sound of laughter. The definition I prefer these days is that a haha is an unseen ditch.

In a peerless country landscape you are walking as I have been walking, with not a care in the world save the usual suburban maternal American cares, and then. That damn unseen ditch.

It is different for everyone. The landscape that at one point felt like it could go on to the horizon at least, and maybe forever, does not. For one thing, there's this ditch. And who is as witty as Oscar Wilde who said, "We're all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars." Nice thought old buddy, old pal, but the dimensions of this ditch are broad and the walls steep, Oscar.

Pain that goes on for more than three months is called chronic. I am now living a definition as are hundreds of thousands of other people. Make that all of us gutter-dwellers, such as we are. We're trying our damndest, whatever way we can, to focus on points of light that flicker far away. Hold my hand. Haha.

1 comment:

  1. Hope you get some relief somehow. My sister has had R.A. for over 30 yrs and I have seen her suffering 'though she does her best to not let it control her life. Very hard, for her and for those who care about her! The ditch or haha can take many forms, whether pain, illness, a change in life of some kind. Suddenly, life is different, and will never be the same. All I can say is, remember to watch some Monty Python once in awhile! (Particularly the end of Life of Brian)
    But seriously, hoping for the best for you.