Thursday, March 24, 2011

ImpostaMom

The selfless calm voice of modern parenting, the one that pretends to be a video recording device, "When I came into the room I saw a begonia on the floor and two children biting each other on the forearm in what appears to be a very angry way" really irritates me.

I caught myself recently, playing to the audience of other "good moms" when my son took someone else's son's train. This is what I said: "Now honey," I said, "that other little boy was playing with it first. I know you really want that train and right now that train has captured your attention so completely that no other toy seems desirable, and it is hard to part with a toy of such awesomeness and quality, but you don't like it when someone grabs a train from you. How we play with our friends is that we share trains. Remember when we talked about sharing and compromise during Family Share Time yesterday?"

I was playing ImpostaMom! Why didn't I simply say: Give the toy back, son, and be done with it?

ImpostaMom is walking, talking fakery. Well meaning fakery of course, designed to make ourselves feel superior about our care of our children compared to those "bad moms" (that we are not like) that yell and demand fealty "just because we said so," but it is still fake, fake, fake as store-bought cupcakes.

The most honest I've been with my kids was after the episode described above of the forearm biting and the begonia. I said I needed to take a time out in a hot bath because I was feeling extremely irritated. They asked what's "irritated." And we all learned something.

2 comments:

  1. mmm...hmmm.

    I know.

    I saw a mom be real once, and my bugged out expression at it, is, what I THINK, keeps me from being real.

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  2. Hey, time outs aren't for the kids they are for US. They sit in a corner and we do deep breathing to keep from whacking them upside the head, lol.

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