Like everyone else, I use Halloween as a chance to get my woodland nymph on. I've been a woodland nymph for 10 years in row, except in 2009 when I had swine flu, and was a sniffly feverish sunken-eyed couch nymph. That sucked.
This year I want something different - related, but different. I'm researching my unicorn options.
But, by Jove, and brownies and wee harmless tree sprites! By all things holy to me, mermaids and Ariel! Type "women's unicorn costumes" in to the Internet, and suddenly you're a sex addicted woodland freak. I've seen things. Unicorn horns of red latex, hooves that you can put on over your shoes, sparkle LED manes, and loads of prancing, prancing postures in bustieres that in no way resemble the splendid art historic unicorn tapestries located at the Metropolitan Museum of Art.
I'm so not made to put on rainbow fur leg warmers. So screw unicorns, and woodland nymphs. What was I thinking? I'm in my 40s. I'm going as a bat house.