Thursday, October 25, 2012

Genes

I tested positive for mutated compound heterozygosity on the MTHFR gene. The MTHFR gene, which stands for methylenetetrahydrofolatewhateverthehell will from now on be referred to as motherfucker. What it means, basically, is that you've screwed the pooch. 

You can't process stress hormones and they build up in your tissues like a Woody Allen movie. It explains so much. The pamphlet (a silly word) that accompanied the test results said this mutation causes disregulation of cortisol and haywire inflammation (my word, haywire), and increases risks for rheumatoid arthritis, neuropsychiatric disorders, heart disease, diabetes, neural tube defects, alcoholism, among others. Among others. What else? Global climate change.

Then I defy you stars! is what I shouted at the pamphlet. Quoting Shakespeare in moments of stress is, more likely than not, something we with the genetic mutation motherfucker do.

5 comments:

  1. Elizabeth, I would love to learn more about this, as I have suffered over the years ... diagnosed with an "unidentifiable autoimmune disease" disorder since I was 21. This interests me, because my inflammatory markers are off the charts (SED rate, C-Reactive protein). Did the pamphlet have a website?

    Laughed my ass off at your naming of the gene. Loved it.

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  2. I know something that has helped change these lab values and symptoms for some people.melissa,elizabeth maybe offline email?

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  3. It feels so good to say Motherfucker, doesn't it.
    Also: This sounds like something I might have.

    Will have to read more.

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  4. My daughter sent this to me. All the women in my family must have the MTHFR gene. I've been saying its a muthrfkr for years. Good to know they have ID'd "it" as a generic flaw. At least now I know we have the motherfucker and are not JUST fucked up as I had suspected.

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  5. My daughter sent this to me. All the women in my family must have the MTHFR gene. I've been saying its a muthrfkr for years. Good to know they have ID'd "it" as a generic flaw. At least now I know we have the motherfucker and are not JUST fucked up as I had suspected.

    ReplyDelete