Friday, March 22, 2013


My daughter who is five and from whom getting information is like playing that old fashioned game telephone said she was to be a plague in her school's upcoming Passover tableau. "They're making you a plague?" I said. "Yes," She said happily, "I'm going to be lice."

"I just have to be myself," she said.

This got me thinking about modern plagues of parents in honor of which I take a drop out of my wine glass, or heck, kick back a whole glass of wine. The Hebrew God has nothing compared to the the gnashing of teeth of head lice in a private elementary school.

What would have really convinced Pharaoh to let my people go is Kids birthday parties, My L'il Ponies sets falling from the sky, where the ponies shoes always get lost (look under the couch, Moses) and the packaging is so perfectly molded to the Transformer the Transformer actually cannot be pried out, Legos (they are locusts) and the plague of the first born boy which is that they feel like the movies they like and want to see (Ice Age 1, 2, 3 and 4) are the movies nobody else in the family wants to see.

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