Saturday, May 4, 2013

Derby Pie

It's Kentucky Derby Day, the one day of the year I wish I were a Southerner, so I pretend to be one, taking my cues from Sissy Spacek, Diane Keaton, and Jessica Lange in the 80s melodrama Crimes of The Heart. Oh how I love this movie.

I say peee-can instead of pe-cahn.

I say co'cola for Coke.

I sit in the shade wearing the cream-puff-white hat I wore for my wedding and wave at passing strangers on my street: "Hiiii y'all where y'all heading to?"

When people ask me what am I doing, I wipe the crumbs of pie crust from my mouth with the back of my white-gloved hand and say, "Why, sugar, what does it look like I'm doing?"