Saturday, September 13, 2014

Baller




Not only has the N.F.L covered up petty misdemeanors and gross abuse in the name of the brand, issuing slaps on the back of the hand to players who mean a fortune to them, they're also simultaneously, grotesquely, marketing to women. Stand by your man, they're saying.

Ladies, you are being used. I implore you to rid yourself of "your team" jerseys cut to enhance your curves and bare your midriff.  Powderpuff is the word used to describe you when you play the game.

If you won't  -- if the Ravens, or the Steelers, or the Vikings are so important to your identity, if you come from a long line of Cheeseheads -- I then ask you simply to explain to me why? Why? You don't want to be one of the guys of this type. Spend any significant time abroad and you'll learn there are other ways to spend your fall Sundays than with a big platter of pigs in a blanket.

Not only did Ray Rice knock out his then fiancee and the N.F.L claim not to have seen the tape from inside the elevator, the science is in. Brain trauma affects one in three players. So when you're watching football you're watching unfolding hurt. That's fun? That's chips and dip? I'd argue that it's a livingroom couch kind of sadistic.

There are obviously major economic and social implications if football in America were to end. Think it's too big to fail? May I draw your attention to this civilization called Rome.