Monday, October 27, 2014


Freedom has no expiration date, and I'm here to tell you in my clown shoes that neither does stoopid

Case in point: my brown hair has reddish undertones that come up to the surface like feeding sharks when I try to go blonde. I've known this for over 40 years -- my hair has reddish undertones, my hair has reddish undertones that's why it's called chestnut. There's a mantra here. Also it's a lesson it seems I have to keep on keeping on learning because what do I do? I try to go blonde. Again. 

I try to go blonde using a Shade-Grown Free-Trade Fresh Sap Collected By Himalayan Virgins Whole Foods hair dye kit and -- insert no surprise here -- I turned myself gingerballs.

I went to bed gingerballs, hoping it would go away during the night, like magic! but I woke up looking like Strawberry Shortcake spent the summer surfing at some So. Cal. hideaway, and not like Kate Hudson. 

What to do? I have one thing to say: You better work just like RuPaul says. Sashay shante. I'm working the shade I call Pumpkin Spice Lite today and I made an appointment with my hairdresser for as soon as he can see me. 


  1. Fabulous. The way you tell a story in minimal number words, EFFICIENCY OF PROSE. Turn on, all the way turn on.

  2. Turn it up to eleven.