Friday, September 4, 2015

How To Get Dressed

Baltimore County is a fashionable world, a world of leggings that aren't ironic and scarves, statement necklaces, cardis, and power heels and I, in my mid-40s, still don't really know how to get dressed. I am a goose among swans.

My vibe is Graduate Student Hillbilly Nerd Wanna Be Librarian And/Or Field Biologist.  I don't know even one, let alone nine ways to wear a scarf.

[Michelle Phan shows you nine different ways to wear a scarf.]

So like the perpetual graduate student hillbilly nerd that I am,  I hitched myself up by the belt loops of my dingy, hits-right-at-the-cankle Talbots' culottes and went straight to the library.

I filled my arms with books with bold, aspirational titles like You: Personal Style and How To Get One, You Sad Middle-Aged Woman Who Thinks Talbots Culottes In Tangerine Are Ever The Right Choice For Brunch Or Any Other Time, and The Stylish Do More With Their Lives Than You Will, Ever

Much of the advice is about defining who you are, what you like, and projecting this with your costume clothes. A lookbook helps. So does imagining Stacy London looking at you.

I did what is called "wardrobe editing" or "curating" and I am wearing a crisp white oxford (like Sharon Stone at the Oscars!), black skinny jeans that I am not quite sure fit in a flattering way, orange ballet flats, and large earrings cut out of balsa wood in the shape of feathers.

Get off the ground little goose. Fly, goose of fashion, fly! 

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